[00:21.83] I work down at the pizza pit [00:25.19] And I drive an old Hyundai [00:28.98] I still live with my mom and dad [00:32.37] I'm five foot three and overweight [00:35.55] I'm a sci-fi fanatic, a mild asthmatic [00:39.60] Never been to second base [00:42.63] But there's a whole 'nother me that you need to see [00:46.74] Go check out MySpace [00:50.26] 'Cause online, I'm out in Hollywood [00:53.79] I'm six foot five and I look damn good [00:57.38] I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate [01:00.80] And I love a good glass of wine [01:04.59] It turns girls on that I'm mysterious [01:08.16] I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious [01:11.85] 'Cause even on a slow day [01:13.89] I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time [01:18.79] I'm so much cooler online [01:22.73] So much cooler online [01:26.60] I get home, I kiss my mom [01:29.56] And she fixes me a snack [01:33.29] And I head down to my basement bedroom [01:37.37] And fire up my Mac [01:40.99] In real life, the only time I've [01:44.34] Ever even been to LA [01:47.20] Was when I got the chance with the marching band [01:50.81] To play tuba in the Rose Parade [01:54.99] But, oh, online, I live in Malibu [01:58.51] I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ [02:02.12] I'm single and I'm rich [02:03.80] And I got a set of six-pack abs that will blow your mind [02:09.33] It turns girls on that I'm mysterious [02:13.06] I tell 'em I don't want nothin' serious [02:16.50] 'Cause even on a slow day [02:18.62] I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time [02:23.52] I'm so much cooler online [02:27.35] Yeah, I'm cooler online [02:30.62] When you got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date [02:34.46] Let alone a real girlfriend [02:37.70] But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight [02:41.89] Every time I log in [02:47.29] [02:59.85] Oh, online, I'm out in Hollywood [03:03.28] I'm six foot five and I look damn good [03:06.89] Even on a slow day [03:09.05] I can have a three-way chat with two women at one time [03:14.04] I'm so much cooler online [03:17.84] Yeah, I'm cooler online [03:20.84] Hey, I'm so much cooler online [03:24.94] Yeah, I'm cooler online [03:28.88] (Yeah, he's cooler online) [03:32.35] Hey, I'm cooler online (oh, oh) [03:35.81] (Yeah, he's cooler online) [03:39.28] Yeah, I'm sittin' alright [03:46.23] Hey, I'm cooler online [03:49.33] (Yeah, he's cooler online, hey) [03:56.34]