[00:00.23] Alright now boys and girls, we've got another story for you now. [00:04.83] We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible. [00:09.08] Hell yeah [00:13.95] Hell yeah [00:19.26] Hell yeah [00:22.45] [00:24.57] Hell yeah [00:27.81] [00:30.62] If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V. [00:37.60] [00:41.01] Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea [00:48.10] [00:51.61] If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols [00:56.84] And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible [01:01.96] Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a speed 2 [01:07.23] If I were God that's what I'd do heavens no [01:11.43] Hell yeah [01:14.37] [01:16.53] Hell yeah [01:19.63] [01:22.01] Hell yeah [01:25.07] [01:27.17] Hell yeah [01:30.23] [01:33.22] If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything [01:40.16] [01:43.63] Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing [01:50.62] [01:54.13] If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops [01:59.48] Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap [02:04.55] Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins thou shall not cut Footloose [02:09.89] If I were God that's what I'd do heavens no [02:14.04] Hell yeah [02:19.19] Hell yeah [02:22.22] [02:24.48] Hell yeah [02:27.52] [02:29.78] Hell yeah [02:32.85] [02:38.18] And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross [02:43.40] I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off [02:48.33] He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars [02:53.67] Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar? [02:58.96] To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt [03:03.96] Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt [03:09.51] I Can't Believe It's Not Butter I'll sing as I'm flogged [03:14.34] Yeah that's what I would do if I were God [03:19.62] So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to heaven [03:24.97] Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in Seven [03:29.11] With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick [03:35.55] You just can't teach an old God new tricks [03:40.18] But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? [03:45.63] If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? [03:50.59] Just sport some crummy holier than thou facade [03:56.05] Yeah that's what I would do if I were God [03:59.16]