[00:14.02] Looking back now I didn't know what it was supposed to be [00:17.51] And, and it's like raising' kids, man [00:19.56] If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know? [00:22.86] I just did the best thing I could with them because [00:25.25] They know fucking well I love them [00:28.11] But I didn't do the best I could [00:30.77] I didn't know what the fuck I was doing [00:33.82] I didn't [00:37.80] I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straight jacket [00:42.53] And taken out of my home when I was only seven years old [00:47.12] She was diagnosed with dementia praecox and put in a mental institution [00:50.57] Leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd [00:55.59] I later had an evil stepmother [00:58.10] Who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother [01:02.11] Growing up without one [01:03.92] Had long lasting impressions I didn't fully understand until much later in life [01:09.72] It bled into my relationships with family [01:12.81] And those I had become romantically involved with [01:17.09] Whenever I got too close to a woman I would cut her off [01:20.66] Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear [01:25.06] But it was also totally subconscious [01:29.74] Looking back is a bitch, innit? [01:33.81]