My Mom

Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Yo, yo Alright, I'ma lay the chorus first Here we go now My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired Of hearin' 'bout my mom, oh-ho, whoa-ho But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty And how I became hooked on Va-aliu-um Valium was in everything, food that I ate The water that I drank, fuckin' peas in my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her Son grow up to be an undera-fuckin'-chiever? My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothin' either "What the fuck you stickin' gum up under the fuckin' seat for?" "Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffin' ether" "Either that or the motherfucker's been puffin' reefer" But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either It was neither, I was buzzin' but it wasn't what she thought Pee in a teacup? Bitch, you ain't my keeper, I'm sleepin' What the fuck you keep on fuckin' with me for? Slut, you need to leave me the fuck alone, I ain't playin' Go find you a white crayon and color a fuckin' zebra My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints, did I? Now here's a plate full of painkillers, now just wait 'Til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes You little motherfucker, I'll make you sit there And make that retarded fuckin' face without even tastin' it You better lick the fuckin' plate, you ain't wastin' it Put your face in it 'fore I throw you in the basement again And I ain't givin' in, you're gonna just sit there In one fuckin' place, finnickin' 'til next Thanksgiving And if you still ain't finished it, I'll use the same shit again Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the shit You little shit, wanna sit there and play innocent? A rack fell and hit me in K-Mart and they witnessed it Child support, your father, he ain't sent the shit And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid My mom There's no one else quite like my mom I know I should let bygones be bygones But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on 'Cause my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom My mom loved Valium, now all I am Is a party animal, I am what I am But I'm strong to the finish with me Valium spinach But my buzz only lasts about two minutes But I don't wanna swallow it without chewin' it I can't even write a rhyme without you in it My Valium, my Vaaaaaa-liummmm, oh Man, I never thought that I could ever be A drug addict, nah, fuck that, I can't have it happen to me But that's actually what has ended up happenin' A tragedy, the fuckin' past ended up catchin' me And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it? Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom, beautiful She killed the fuckin' dog with the medicine she done fed it Feed it a fuckin' aspirin and say that it has a headache "Here, want a snack? You hungry, you fuckin' brat?" "Look at that, it's a Xanax, take it and take a nap, eat it" But I don't need it, "Well fuck it then, break it up" "Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up" Alright Ma, you win, I don't feel like arguin' I'll do it, pop it, gobble it and start wobblin' Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip, then I fall in bed With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobblehead My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom My mom, I'm just like her My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my momma Me momma, I like-a da momma Haha, sorry Mom I still love you though Dr. Dre, 2010 Hey, this shit is hella hard, homie Yo, take us on outta here Woo