[00:01.31] A lot of people ask me [00:03.17] Stupid fuckin' questions [00:06.12] A lot of people think that [00:09.89] What I say on record [00:11.33] Or what I talk about on a record [00:13.62] That I actually do in real life [00:15.97] Or that I believe in it [00:18.09] Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that [00:22.70] I'm actually gonna do it [00:25.11] Or that I believe in it [00:27.12] Well, shit [00:29.42] If you believe that, then I'll kill you [00:33.40] You know why? [00:36.30] 'Cause I'm a criminal! [00:37.96] Criminal! [00:42.76] You're goddamn right [00:46.14] I'm a criminal! [00:47.61] Yeah, I'm a criminal! [00:52.57] My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge [00:58.11] That'll stab you in the head [00:59.62] Whether you're a fag or lez [01:00.84] Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest [01:03.14] Pants or dress, hate fags? [01:04.81] The answer's "yes" [01:05.75] Homophobic? [01:06.38] Nah, you're just heterophobic [01:07.43] Starin at my jeans, watchin' my genitals bulgin' [01:09.76] That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em [01:12.25] They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em [01:14.99] "Hey, it's me, Versace" [01:16.12] "Whoops, somebody shot me!" [01:17.76] "And I was just checkin' the mail" [01:18.87] "Get it? Checkin' the male?" [01:20.25] How many records you're expectin' to sell [01:21.86] After your second LP sends you directly to jail? [01:24.30] C'mon! Relax Guy, I like gay men [01:26.87] Right, Ken? Give me an amen [01:28.63] "Ayyy, men!" [01:29.50] Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus [01:31.87] Heal this child, help us destroy these demons [01:33.55] Oh and please send me a brand new car and a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital [01:38.22] Preacher, preacher, fifth grade teacher [01:40.90] You can't reach me, my mom can't neither [01:42.95] You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'cause [01:45.61] I watch TV and Comcast cable [01:48.07] And you ain't able to stop these thoughts [01:50.61] You can't stop me from toppin' these charts [01:52.76] And you can't stop me from droppin' each March [01:54.98] With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards [01:56.99] And to think, it's just lil ol' me [01:59.47] Mr. Don't-Give-a-Fuck still won't leave [02:01.90] I'm a criminal! [02:02.73] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [02:06.01] I guess I'm a criminal! [02:07.41] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [02:10.38] I don't take shit from no one [02:11.71] I'm a criminal! [02:12.65] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [02:15.35] I guess I'm a criminal! [02:16.55] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [02:20.65] I don't take shit from no one [02:22.19] The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed [02:23.62] The baby came out, disfigured ligaments, indeed [02:25.13] It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she [02:27.93] Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me [02:30.08] I'm a criminal! [02:31.23] An animal caged who turned crazed [02:32.80] But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised? [02:35.32] So as I got older and I got a lot taller [02:37.53] My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger [02:39.88] I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ____ [02:44.37] My morals went "pffft" when the president got oral sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk off of his own employee [02:49.65] Now, don't ignore me, you won't avoid me [02:51.49] You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired and my nose is pointy [02:53.93] I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him [03:00.77] Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined [03:01.96] "The maniac's in" [03:03.65] Replacing the doctor 'cause Dre couldn't make it today [03:05.23] He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his place [03:07.75] Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face [03:09.94] Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place [03:12.70] I told you, Dre, you should've kept that thang put away [03:15.16] I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh? [03:17.27] Criminal! [03:18.51] (Alright, look, just go up in that motherfucker) [03:22.88] (Get the motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there) [03:26.15] Alright [03:27.31] (I'll be right here waitin' on you) [03:27.83] Alright [03:28.51] (Yo, Em!) [03:29.27] What!? [03:30.49] (Don't kill nobody this time!) [03:31.29] Alright... goddamn, this fucker gets on my fuckin' nerves... [03:35.89] (Hi!) [03:36.72] How you doin'? [03:40.73] (How can I help you?) [03:41.48] Yeah, I need to make a withdrawal [03:42.75] Put the fuckin' money in the bag, bitch, and I won't kill you [03:45.84] (What?) [03:46.80] (Oh my God, don't kill me!) [03:48.59] I'm not gonna kill you, bitch! Quit fuckin' around... [03:49.22] (Don't kill me, just please don't kill me!) [03:51.48] I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you... [03:52.65] (Don't kill me...) [03:53.62] Hurry the fuck up! [03:54.21] Thank you! [03:55.02] Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it [03:57.49] So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it, so I'll be disguised in it [04:00.97] And if anybody identifies the guy in it, I hide for five minutes [04:04.35] Come back, shoot the eyewitness [04:06.64] Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business [04:09.11] Die bitches, bastards, brats, pets [04:11.25] This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [04:13.60] If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts [04:15.98] Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck [04:18.36] You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [04:22.98] Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up [04:25.34] To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass [04:27.98] And if it's not a rapper that I make it as [04:30.12] I'mma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask [04:32.25] I'm a criminal! [04:33.37] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [04:36.62] I guess I'm a criminal! [04:37.86] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [04:40.75] I don't take shit from no one [04:41.73] I'm a criminal! [04:42.78] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [04:45.94] I guess I'm a criminal! [04:47.39] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [04:50.42] I don't take shit from no one [04:51.34] I'm a criminal! [04:52.08] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [04:55.55] I guess I'm a criminal! [04:56.73] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [04:59.24] I don't take shit from no one [05:00.58] I'm a criminal! [05:01.75] 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind [05:04.95] I guess I'm a criminal! [05:06.17] But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' [05:09.03] I don't take shit from no one [05:09.91] I'm a criminal! [05:10.61]